Yesterday, around 10am, I got a call from my crying sister who told me that it looks like dad's cancer is back. For those of you who don't really know the happenings of the past year, they go something like this. Last spring, dad started having trouble swallowing. He just assumed he was dealing with swollen glands or something similar to that, and didn't have a doctor check it out. He continued to just keep it to himself, and started to lose weight. Finally, in August (I think) he had tests run and found out that he had esophageal cancer. Our family's world was rocked, and we started looking at what the next step was.
Dad went through chemo, radiation, and began to prep for surgery. The surgery that he underwent was extremely intense. We were told that the only thing more intense is open heart surgery. Dad's surgery happened in November, and 10 days later, he came home. That September, I had moved home to be there with mom and dad during this time. For the next three months, I watched dad slowly begin the rehabilitation process. Needless to say, he played golf this summer, and things started getting better.
Unfortunately, the last two months, things started getting a little more difficult. Dad started having trouble swallowing, and he was having trouble keeping some food down. He was starting to really struggle with the fact that he wanted to just live a normal life again. Yesterday, dad went into the doctor's office to have a simple procedure done. He was having his esophagus stretched, a procedure he was going to have to have done a few times over the two years following his surgery. As they looked at his throat, they found spots. This is where things are scary.
The doctor looked at my father, with a look that disturbed him, and stated that the cancer might be back. They did a biopsy, and we are currently waiting for the results. I think just knowing is easier than the waiting. My hopes are high, but I'm also a realist. We were told last year that if dad's cancer comes back over the next year, he probably won't make it. That's a terrifying thought that I've spent the last day trying to come to terms with. I've never lived a day where I couldn't take the opportunity to call my dad if I wanted to. I'm trying to understand what that's going to feel like, and how to prepare myself. I know that we all die at some point. I just wasn't ready for it to come this quickly. Dad is only 58.
I've always tried to take any opportunity I can to see my parents. Now, even more, I can't afford to take those times for granted. My love for golf over the last three years has waned a little, and I haven't always wanted to go when dad has. This year, however, I may become a golf-aholic just to spend time with the man who has always been my hero. Time is so precious and fleeting. I can't afford to let time pass without taking advantage of those opportunities. Even if the results come back cancer free, I will be taking more opportunities to spend with the folks.
One of the greatest gifts we have is our family, and God has really blessed me with a great one. Continue to pray for my father. Pray for his throat to be cancer free. Pray for his spirit to come up. Pray that we, as a family, are there with him the whole way. Pray for my mother. She loves my dad. He really is her heart. As much as I love my father, it doesn't compare to my mother's love for him. They are an amazing example of what the love of a married couple should be. I just pray that they still have several years still ahead of them.
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