Nash-Vegas....here we are!

Well, we got to Nashville safely.  A big thank you goes out to Edwina Thurman for letting us use her car.  If we weren't driving it, we would have never gotten everything down here.  We need to wash it on the way back though, the salt has really made it a dirty, little suv.  

We got down here, got settled into the hotel room, headed out to the Gibson store, drooled over a bunch of guitars we couldn't afford, ate cajun food, loaded our stuff into the studio, then hung out at B.B. King's Blues Club.  That was a good time.  We got to see a fantastic band headed up by Stacy Mitchhart.  That brotha can play!  At one point in the show, he headed out into the crowd and played.  This is where the story could've been epic.  Instead, it's more of a "what could have been".

As Stacy made his way into the crowd to play, he came by our table to play, and noticed Aaron looking at his hands while he was playing.  He simply looked at Aaron and said, "Do you want to play?"  As I'm sure you all expected........he said YES!!!!!  Um......wait......no?  He said NO????  That's right people.  Aaron said no.  Of course, we took this opportunity to make sure that he didn't get to forget his "frozen" moment.  Aaron could've stepped into the shoes of some of the greats who have played on that stage, but it's only a memory of a possibility that was never realized.

Outside of that, we are looking forward to a couple of days of recording with one of Nashville's finest.  We'll keep everyone posted on what is going on, and we'll be posting video blogs on youtube as well.  Until tomorrow, here are a couple of pics from BB Kings.

Nash-Vegas....here we come!

Friday, Alex, Aaron and myself are heading back down to Nashville to do some recording at the Tracking Room with my good friend Sean Truskowski.  It seems like it's been forever since we went down there the last time, but we are definitely heading back.  After the weekend is over, we will be finished with all the instrumentation for the album.  All I'll have to do next is head down in the next month and finish up the vocals.  Good stuff.

In preparation for this weekend, we've been rehearsing our back-sides off.  Last night, however, was a little nerve racking.  I don't know if it was something we ate, the impending ice storm that was coming, or just nerves, but things were rough.  We were missing notes, forgetting the road map on songs, and just not getting it sometimes.  Needless to say, we didn't have our "a" game.  It was more like our "d" game.  

That got me thinking today.  What is it about us that makes God love us so much?  We're screw ups!  Don't get me wrong.  I don't doubt God's love.  I just don't get it.  It seems like we ignore him much of the time.  Then, when things are going in the wrong direction, suddenly, we're back to calling on His name.  It just seems like we see God as a safety valve for life.  Oh.  And, if something does goes really awry, it's all His fault!!!  How does that work?

I guess we just don't want responsibility for things anymore.  We always want someone to blame, so we blame God for the "Bigguns".  That's southern for "big ones" for my northern friends.  When things are going great, we feel like we deserve it.  We worked hard for it. Now WE reap the rewards.  Something goes wrong?  It's all God's fault.  Does this seem weird to anyone else?  That just really seems like backwards thinking to me.  Sure.  God allows things to happen, but why do we think He's an angry kid taking His magnifying glass and trying to burn all of us "ants"?

I've had so many people ask me if I was angry at God for my father's cancer.  I don't understand the question.  God didn't give my dad cancer.  He didn't reach out his index finger from "on high", touch my father, and "poof" ...... cancer!  He doesn't have a grudge against him.  My God isn't like that.  Sometimes, bad things happen.  We need to get over ourselves.  We aren't immortal.  We weren't created to live in these bodies forever.  That's ok by me.  I've always wanted to be taller anyway.

We were created with a hope.  We were created with a future.  We weren't created just for where we are now.  There's more.  I know I'll see my father again.  That's hope.  That's what I live for.  If something bad happens, I'm cool with it.  It'll be hard, but it will also end.

Now.....if I can just figure out why God loves me.  I still don't get, but I like it.

Important things...

As many of you already know, my father, Tom Kelley, has been diagnosed once again with cancer.  This time, though, it's much more aggressive and has manifested itself all over my father's body.  The doctor, who I have the utmost respect for, was very honest and frank with my family.  He told us that no treatment could take care of what was growing within my father's body.  We were given a window of 6 to 12 months to spend with Dad before he goes to be with God.  Needless to say, we were all devastated.  Not so much, because Dad isn't secure in where he is going.  We feel pretty safe on that one.  More or less, we don't want to see him in pain, and we don't want to see our mother alone.

A couple of years ago, I came to a huge realization in my life.  I realized that we were not created to be loners.  We weren't created to be hermits; living in caves in the mountains with our pet billy goats and eating squirrels for every meal.  Although, I hear squirrel is quite tasty.  We don't get married JUST for love.  God created eve for a reason.  He wanted us in community.  We aren't meant to be alone.  Whether it's in marriage, friendship, work, or faith, God intended for us to be in community with others.  I type this as I'm sitting in my office, as I do most weeks, alone.....figures.

I fear for the loneliness of my mother.  For more than 35 years, my parents have lived together; in love, with family, in community.  My dad means everything to my mother.  The hardest thing I've ever had to swallow in my life, so far, was hearing my mom, tears in her eyes and sobbing, "What am I going to do without you?"  That was quickly followed by, "I don't want you to go through this."  My mom understood two things that day.  She doesn't want to go through this life without the man that's been there for most of it, and she doesn't want to see this man hurt.  

I learned a long time ago that my parents were in real love with each other.  They've always put up with each other's silliness from time to time.  They've had the money fights.  They've had their moments where they weren't really speaking to each other, and dad would leave for a couple hours.  Yet, through all those times, I never heard the word hate.  They NEVER talked about divorce or living apart.  Somehow, they always made it work.  I was given a master's course in what love was through my upbringing.  I was taught what living in community is all about.  They never wanted to be apart, and they never wanted to see each other hurt.

Living with someone.  Loving someone.  Being in community with someone isn't always rainbows and butterflies, like my friend Connie always liked to joke about.  There are fights, arguments, and anger.  There are also times of deep caring, comfort, and appreciation.  I really feel like love encompasses all of these.  It's beyond perfect.  It's real.  WE aren't perfect, and unfortunately, we don't always want to be real either.  

That's always been my fear.  I've always been reserved about relationships, because I don't feel that people are willing to accept the real person.  I'm also skeptical about how "REAL" people are being.  I don't really have a place for the fake.  I don't really have a place where I'm willing to deal with the "two-faced" individual.  As far as friends, family, lovers, and co-workers go, we need to be in community, but if the people are not real, then it's not real community.

My parents are about as real as you'll find.  Like 'em, love 'em, or hate 'em.  They're real people.  I am truly blessed to have had a father like that.  A year from now, I may be writing a blog about the memories of my father, but for right now, I'm looking forward to another 6 months to a year of making new ones.

If you're reading this, don't take your relationships for granted.  God gave them to us for a reason.  Don't segregate yourself from relationships.  Don't pull away from those who truly love you.  God never meant for us to be alone.

Dad

I'm gonna start today's blog off with a thank you to Dave Kibler, my lead minister.  I say "my" lead minister, because he is just that.....my minister.  We do work together, but Dave has been much more than that to me; a friend, an accountability partner, a financial adviser, and a lot more.  I'm saying thank you, because he's allowing me a couple days to cope with something that has been really rough for me to deal with.

Yesterday, around 10am, I got a call from my crying sister who told me that it looks like dad's cancer is back.  For those of you who don't really know the happenings of the past year, they go something like this.  Last spring, dad started having trouble swallowing.  He just assumed he was dealing with swollen glands or something similar to that, and didn't have a doctor check it out.  He continued to just keep it to himself, and started to lose weight.  Finally, in August (I think) he had tests run and found out that he had esophageal cancer.  Our family's world was rocked, and we started looking at what the next step was.

Dad went through chemo, radiation, and began to prep for surgery.  The surgery that he underwent was extremely intense.  We were told that the only thing more intense is open heart surgery.  Dad's surgery happened in November, and 10 days later, he came home.  That September, I had moved home to be there with mom and dad during this time.  For the next three months, I watched dad slowly begin the rehabilitation process.  Needless to say, he played golf this summer, and things started getting better.

Unfortunately, the last two months, things started getting a little more difficult.  Dad started having trouble swallowing, and he was having trouble keeping some food down.  He was starting to really struggle with the fact that he wanted to just live a normal life again.  Yesterday, dad went into the doctor's office to have a simple procedure done.  He was having his esophagus stretched, a procedure he was going to have to have done a few times over the two years following his surgery.  As they looked at his throat, they found spots.  This is where things are scary.

The doctor looked at my father, with a look that disturbed him, and stated that the cancer might be back.  They did a biopsy, and we are currently waiting for the results.  I think just knowing is easier than the waiting.  My hopes are high, but I'm also a realist.  We were told last year that if dad's cancer comes back over the next year, he probably won't make it.  That's a terrifying thought that I've spent the last day trying to come to terms with.  I've never lived a day where I couldn't take the opportunity to call my dad if I wanted to.  I'm trying to understand what that's going to feel like, and how to prepare myself.  I know that we all die at some point.  I just wasn't ready for it to come this quickly.  Dad is only 58.

I've always tried to take any opportunity I can to see my parents.  Now, even more, I can't afford to take those times for granted.  My love for golf over the last three years has waned a little, and I haven't always wanted to go when dad has.  This year, however, I may become a golf-aholic just to spend time with the man who has always been my hero.  Time is so precious and fleeting.  I can't afford to let time pass without taking advantage of those opportunities.  Even if the results come back cancer free, I will be taking more opportunities to spend with the folks.

One of the greatest gifts we have is our family, and God has really blessed me with a great one.  Continue to pray for my father.  Pray for his throat to be cancer free.  Pray for his spirit to come up.  Pray that we, as a family, are there with him the whole way.  Pray for my mother.  She loves my dad.  He really is her heart.  As much as I love my father, it doesn't compare to my mother's love for him.  They are an amazing example of what the love of a married couple should be.  I just pray that they still have several years still ahead of them.

Cyber Friends

So today I did what I do every morning when I get to the office.  First, I complain about working out, because that's what I do.  I know I need to do it, but it's one of those things I really just don't enjoy.  Next, I drop a venti coffee from starbucks like a bad habit. (which it is)  Finally, I do what millions of other people do across the globe; I get on facebook.  Chances are, most of the people who read this are on facebook right now, so you should be able to follow me pretty well.

Social networking sites have become the most visited sites on the web, and for good reason.  It help us to "reconnect" and "create" friendships.  Don't get me wrong, I really have reconnected with a lot of friends on here from high school and college who I haven't spoken with in years.  The problem I'm having, though, is with garage doors.

A few years ago, Dan Robinson and I went to Nashville for the yearly National Youth Workers Conference.  While there, Doug Fields spoke about how automatic garage doors have messed up the social environment of the US as we know it.  It used to be that when you arrived home, you would step out of your car, say hello to the neighbors, open your garage door, possibly carry on a conversation with your neighbors, then step back into your car, close the door behind you and go inside the house.

The automatic garage door changed all that.  Suddenly, people didn't have to say hello to their neighbors.  People stopped hanging out on the front porch.  I'll bet most of you on here don't even know who half of your neighbors are, much less your next door neighbor.

Then "social networking" arrived.  It used to be that you would call a friend to talk to them, or meet them somewhere over coffee to talk.  Nowadays, people are spending a great deal of their day in chat rooms on facebook or myspace or AIM.  Face to face interaction has quickly become a thing of the past.  In having 1785 friends online, we are considered a "social" person, but we're seeing fewer and fewer people just "hanging out".  

I guess it hit me this summer when a good friend of mine "punished" his kids by making them go outside to play.  His oldest is 10.  Then I started hearing more parents having to do the same thing.  Kids are so "cybered" up that they aren't active anymore, and that scares me a little.  Video games are starting to rob children of their imagination, and social networking is starting to create the facade of friendship for people.

I'll be completely honest.  Not every person that I'm friends with on facebook or myspace is considered a close, personal friend.  Most are really just acquaintances who I happen to write a short note to on their birthdays.  I'm really starting to miss the old days when, the moment kids got home, they went right back outside to play with their friends.  My parents neighborhood has so many children that live in it, yet I rarely see them outside playing.  I guess that just disturbs me.  I miss the days when someone would call you or drop by to talk, instead of saying, "I'll send you a note on facebook".

Maybe I'm just starting to become an old man, but the "old days" seemed to be less fabricated and more real to me.  In a way, I'm a hypocrite.  I use facebook everyday just like everyone else.  Please don't think that I'm calling anyone out.  I'm not.  Facebook, myspace, twitter....they're all great ways to communicate.  I'm really just venting out frustrations about a world that's gotten smaller, but people, and relationships, seem so much further away.

Death Brings Life

A few years ago, Rob Bell preached a sermon in which he started off by making salsa on stage.  As his sermon went on, he brought to light a thought that I've always had, but couldn't articulate in such a thought provoking way.  The simple thought is this....In order for there to be life, there must first be death.  Follow me on this.

Everything, and I mean EVERYTHING, we eat has to die before we eat it.  Obviously, I'm talking about natural foods, but since we don't eat straight chemicals, everything we eat has life in it before we digest it.  Vegetables, fruits, grains, meat....they all had life in them before we ingest them.  If we don't eat, we die.  If those items don't die, we don't eat.  Death brings life.  Follow me?

The very beginnings of our country; our freedoms, our rights, our way of life are all a result of war.  Many men, and women, died in order to give us the lives we live today.  Many men willingly put there lives on the line to make the USA a possibility.  Without our freedom, we don't live the same lives.  Without the war, and the subsequent deaths, we don't have our freedom.  Death brings life.  Are we still tracking?

9/11 is one of the most infamous days in the history of our country.  Thousands of innocent people died in what was the only real attack on American soil since the Revolutionary War.  Many, however, were saved thanks to the efforts of New York City's Police and Fire Departments evacuating and saving thousands of lives while placing there's at risk.  Many of NYC's finest lost their lives that fateful day.  If you didn't get out of the Trade Center, you died.  Without the efforts of the police and fire departments, many would have never made it out.  Death brings life.  Are you seeing the pattern?

This isn't a mistake.  God intended this from the beginning.  All through time, we see how death brings life.  In ancient times, God commanded that His followers sacrifice the best of their flock or herd in order to pay for their sins.  God cannot be in the presence of sin.  In order to erase that sin, He needed a sacrifice to take that sin for us.  As we all know, Christ later became that ultimate sacrifice that could take all our sins.  He became sin so that we could be in the presence of God.  We need our sins to be erased in order to spend eternity with God.  If Christ doesn't die, we still possess those sins.  Death brings life.

Today, I went to the funeral my good friend, Matty Simpson's mother.  She was an amazing, God-fearing, woman who loved people deeply.  She was a servant, a friend, a mother, and an example.  In all she did, and she did a lot, there was one message that she wanted to spread.  God loves you, and I love you.  It didn't take much to see that message.  She was a selfless worker who spent the last of her years working in a nursing home in the hope that she could help people live the last of their years to the fullest.  She had to give up much of her own time to make that happen.  She sacrificed in order to give others life.

Today, we mourned Carolyn's death, but we also celebrated.  As Christians, death is truly a bittersweet thing.  We miss our loved ones, but we have the hope that we WILL see them again.  Benny, and elder from her church, gave the message today, and he did something that, I'm sure, Carolyn would be smiling at.  He let everyone know the one thing that she lived her whole life for.  As much as she would love to spend time with everyone here, Carolyn truly wants to spend time with her loved ones AFTER this life is over.  The message was simple.  She's in heaven, and the only way to see her again is to see her in Heaven.  I hope there were people at the funeral who took that to heart.  How awesome would it be if her death was able to let others see how to live eternally in the presence of our God?  Perhaps Mrs. Simpson's death brought some life today.  

Matty....you should be proud.  I know God is.

Writer's Block and Award Shows

So I'm sitting on my recliner watching the People's Choice Awards....or.....well.....as my roommate Paul would tell you, there are some shows that I put up on the tv as background noise more than entertainment.  This show would definitely qualify in that category.  I'm not exactly what has happened to me over the last few years, but my disgust for the excess that is held in such high regard in our country has really elevated.  Here we are, in the midst of a recession, and you can't turn the channel without seeing celebrities being held in such high regard for their possessions.  Shows like Cribs and Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous make me nauseated.  

I live in Nicholasville, KY, and the west side of town is far from "Lifestyles".  Many of the people there are living in poverty level, government assisted housing.  I'm sure they could use some of that money that's being thrown around on yachts and mansions and Bentleys.  The thing that makes it the hardest is seeing all the stars doing charity work for organizations like "one.org" then spending thousands, and sometimes millions, the next weekend in some lush, exotic hotel on an island where only the insanely rich can go.

Houses with 15 bedrooms, 7 bathrooms, and 3 kitchens when there are only two in your family doesn't seem to make sense to me.  Owning 10 cars and only driving one doesn't seem to make sense to me.  Owning 20 pairs of the same shoe in different colors in order to make sure you're always matching doesn't seem to make sense to me.  Understand.  I don't have anything against having money.  I struggle with all the excess that I see.

Looking at the screen and seeing the millions of dollars being spent to celebrate the "celebrity" of celebrities seems odd to me.  The needs of the poor are greater than they've ever been, and we're giving out trophies for being famous.  This kind of indulgence is what has brought down so many nations in the past, and I can't see it as an upward swing for ours.

I think I'm rambling now, so I'm gonna end this.  I just want to say one last thing.  How difficult would it be to take some of our time, energy, and money, and donate it to help some that are less fortunate.  It's our calling to help, "the least of these".  I just think we might have forgotten who "they" are.

I love church!

This is gonna be a great deal shorter than my last blog, but I'm gonna post none the less.  I've been in ministry since 1996.  I'm currently in my 13th year of ministry, and I've never been happier doing it.  Understand, this doesn't mean that I love any of my past ministries any less.  It just simply means that I love WHAT I'm doing.

For years, I always just assumed that I would be doing youth ministry into my forties, maybe fifties.  I never saw myself working with adults or even getting to do that while making music.  Today, I got to lead worship like I've done since the first Sunday of 2008, and I love it more now than I did that first Sunday when the church was still meeting in the home of the Dales.  

God is good.  I love worshipping a good God.  My life is good.

New Years Insomnia

Today is the second day of 2009, and I'm currently in recovery mode from a lock-in that me and the guys played this past week.  I'm learning quickly that my age doesn't allow for me to do a lot of "all night" events.  I'm not old, but 35 year olds don't do as well with 24 hour periods of sleeplessness as well as 25 year olds do.  It was a great time, and it was great spending time with an old college friend, Christopher Harley, as well.

The event was also a great reminder of why I do what I do.  Originally, myself and the guys decided not to play a new years eve show.  I, for one, hadn't had a free new years eve in almost ten years due to my vocation in youth ministry.  Needless to say, we had a couple shows that had to be cancelled on our part or on the part of the venue we were heading to, and, as a result, we really needed to go ahead and play new years.  I called Christopher, the youth minister at Center Christian Church, and told him that we would, indeed, be able to be there for his lock-in for the third time.  Chris was excited, the guys were ready to head north for the night, and I was relieved that we would be able to make a few extra bucks to purchase cds.  Either way, we were getting ready to do a lock-in.

A couple days before the lock-in, I called Christopher (notice, I didn't call him "Chris".  He prefers "Christopher", and, as his friend, I am honoring that) to discuss the plans for Wednesday night.  What happened next was a pivotal moment.  As we were talking, he began to let me know that there would only be around 15 to 20 students there, and that, if we wanted to, we could cancel.  I say that it's a pivotal moment, because playing in front of 15 to 20 people in a room that can hold over 300 can be a little bit of a downer.  Honestly, we still needed a pay day, and I know that it would be cool for the kids to have a band there, so I told him not to worry about it and that we would be there.  Mr. Harley was an excited man, and I was happy that he was excited.  It was time to get ready for a little road trip.

Tuesday night, we had two rehearsals.  One was to get ready for church on Sunday, but it wasn't until 7.  Practice for the lock-in was at 5.   The guys all got there minus Ted and Dan.  Ted was going to a wedding in North Carolina over new years, and Dan's work schedule wouldn't allow him to play at the lock-in.  Adam Tipton filled in on drums, and Zach Hamilton filled in on bass. Both guys are great to work with and good friends.  After choosing our sets for the lock-in, we rehearsed and got ready.  Then I dropped the bomb.......  There will only be about 15 to 20 kids at the show.  The guys faces showed exactly what I was thinking.  "This will be hard to get excited about."  We continued with the rehearsal, but I could tell that there was little excitement about the lock-in.

Fast forward to Wednesday morning.  Alex, Aaron, Zach and myself met at the church office at 10am to head to Blue Grass Christian Camp to meet up with Adam, left for Indiana, and arrived there at the church around 2:30pm.  Christopher came out to the van and told the guys what I had already told them, and was very apologetic about how small of a group this would be.  Something inside of me was saying that we were in for something though.  I couldn't put my finger on it, but something good was about to happen.

We took the next few hours to get set-up, rehearse, and wait.  I was a little nervous when we couldn't seem to get the intro to "All Because of Jesus" down.  We literally ran that intro about 7 times before we actually got it.   Kids started showing up around 5:30, and it was time to start meeting the kids.  Christopher and I both made one fatal mistake when we forgot to get the lyrics ready for the first worship set.  At six, we had a bunch of kids standing around trying to figure out what to sing, and kinda staring at us funny while we were attempting to lead them in worship.  We were able to get the kids involved, to a degree, but it was rough.  I was starting to lose hope in this event, and I was ready to just accept that this wasn't going to be a good night.  

I spent the next hour typing all the lyrics for each of the songs in the next two sets into Powerpoint.  Sorry Christopher, but I HATE powerpoint!!!!  Once those were done, I was just hoping that we could salvage the next worship set.  I wasn't ready for what was going to happen.

Our next set was at 10:30pm.  Myself and the guys got up on the stage and just decided to let it all hang out, and we gave it everything.  We really wanted the kids to enjoy worship, but I, personally, wasn't ready for what followed.  We got through the first two songs, and I began to notice something disturbing.  Most of the kids were goofing off, talking, and making fun of each other during the worship time.  I couldn't take it any more.  I stopped the band in the middle of a song and had a little chat with the kids.  Since there were only 18 of them, it was easy to get their attention.  I spent the next two minutes just sharing my disappointment in their attitude during the worship time.  I really worry about the condition of a persons heart when they are flippant toward being in the presence of God.  Long story short, the kids were receptive to what I said, and we began to turn a corner.

We started back in on the worship set, and something was drastically different.  I could tell that the kids were actually trying to take this more seriously, and they were succeeding!  The next three songs were amazing!!!  I saw kids raising their hands in worship, closing their eyes, and one kid simply praying as we sang.  God was taking over, and it was exciting to watch.  Sure, there were still a few kids who just didn't get it.  The rest of the group, however, were worshipping hard.

Christopher then took over and talked to the kids about "getting out of the box" and worked with the kids on their new years resolutions.  He really loves those kids, and it's obvious to me that they're reciprocal.  We came back up to start playing at the crack of midnight, and, at midnight, we started in on "Undignified".  (On a side note; I'm not a big fan of playing Undignified, only because we've played it so much, and people always request it.)  Suddenly, the entire group energized, and we simply had a blast.  I can't tell you how great it was to see these kids learn throughout the night how to just let go, and allow God to work through them in worship.  It was a great night.

What did I learn?  Even though we are a worship band, sometimes we tend to see ourselves as rock stars and miss the big picture.  We may have only led worship for 18 kids on New Years Eve, but we led worship.  Whether we're playing in front of several hundred or 1o people, we're still commissioned to lead worship.  It's our calling.  It's our passion, and it's our privilege.  God is good, and God is a good teacher.  I definitely went to school this week.  God bless and have a great 2009.