Patience is annoying...

Four years ago, David Kibler and I decided to plant a church in Nicholasville, KY. Well, we didn't really decide it. It seems that God had decided for us long before we ever talked about it. That's for another blog. Today, I'm in one of those uneasy moods. I'm ready for big things; things so big that they would be considered mind-boggling. 1000 people at Catalyst weekly, the ability to hire more staff, and the finances to be able to be the full supporters of several missionaries. I want to see Catalyst Christian Church really be a catalyst for change in our town's culture. I want to see impact locally, nationally, globally.....and I want it now!

I feel like those lawyer commercials that say, "It's my money, and I need it NOW!!!!" I've never been all that good at waiting on God to move. I want to jump the gun, force the issue. I hate waiting. Unfortunately, God sometimes calls us to do that very thing. Psalm 27:13 says, " Wait for the Lord; be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord." That doesn't always seem to be the way I work. The beginning of that chapter states all of these amazing attributes of God, and then it states for us to "wait". Really? God is my "light and salvation", my "stronghold", and I am to hide in the shelter of His "sacred tent", but I have to wait?

I hate to admit it, but it seems like God reveals Himself more often in the "waiting" than He does in the rushing and madness. Every minister I've talked to has some horror stories of an earlier ministry that they were involved in before they finally found that place where things just clicked. The Sistine Chapel took Michelangelo 4 years to paint. Mount Rushmore took 14 years to carve out. The Great Pyramid of Giza took somewhere between 14 and 20 years to construct. Great things, many times, take great amounts of time. For me, though, and many others I know, we want to see great things now.

I'm only now starting to realize that God has literally been shaping my life to prepare me for Catalyst. My father was a church planter in upstate New York when I was a child. My first youth ministry was at a new church in Versailles, KY. I was a part of 4 building programs. I've worked with large budgets and small budgets. I've had large youth groups and small youth groups. I've gotten the opportunity to minister in three different states. My ministry has been 37 years in the making, and I'm understanding now that it's still in the building stages. I can't rush what God is trying to do in my life, and, likewise, I can't rush what He's doing with Catalyst.

Needless to say, I'm learning to be more patient, but patience is still annoying....

The American Dream

Growing up, we're always told that there are certain goals that we should be shooting for; a nice wife, a nice, new car, a nice house, 2.5 children, and a nice job. Lately, those things seem almost ridiculous to me. Not that having those things is bad, but is that seriously what I should aspire for? If it is, I'm a pitiful failure. I'm not married. I drive a used car. I live in a town house, and I have no children. I love my job desperately, but it's far from secure. I'm a church planter. I don't have a portfolio. I don't have a solid retirement plan. If what I said above is the "American Dream", then I must be from some other country.

I've been spending a lot of my time reading lately, and I'm starting to see the contradictions to the "American Dream" and God's plan. Matthew 6:25-34 says,

"Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life?

"And why do you worry about clothes? See how the flowers of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you—you of little faith? So do not worry, saying, 'What shall we eat?' or 'What shall we drink?' or 'What shall we wear?' For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.

I have to wonder if our worries, jobs, possessions, hobbies, even our service can get in the way of relationship with Christ.

I had the opportunity to speak on Sunday at Catalyst Christian Church, the church where I am currently the worship minister. I was given the task of speaking about the presence of God in our lives. It really seems like we get so filled up with the stuff of our "dreams" that we don't always have room for God. Even serving God can get in the way of actually spending time with Him.

I recently did some spring cleaning in my laptop's hard drive as I was beginning to run out of space. I quickly realized that I had a lot of junk on there that needed to be dumped; duplicate files and songs, funny video downloads that I haven't watched in a couple of years, pictures that needed to be archived. I found numerous random folders all over the place, and realized quickly just how complicated I had made my computer. Needless to say, I've started simplifying my system so I won't be wasting so much time searching for things, and spending more time doing what needs to be done.

I have to wonder if our lives have become that. Are we spending so much of our days filling in each hour with something to do, spending important emotional energy on needless things, or giving away so much service that there's nothing left? Our heart's could be in the right place, but an absence of time spent WITH God is still an absence of time. I'm only saying this because it's my greatest flaw. I think it's time we all simplify things a little. Make some time for God. Save some emotion for Him. Serve Christ daily with our lives, not just volunteer projects.

There are so many around the world who can't imagine living like we do here in the US, but, sometimes, I'm jealous of just how simple life could be without all of our stuff.

Remembering...

Today is the one year anniversary of my father's passing last November. To say that I miss him would be a huge understatement. I can, without any hesitation, say that he was a great father, my personal hero, and my best friend. One memory of my father that is burned into my brain was the day that I had to tell my father that his father had passed away.

I was sitting in my parents house in Winchester, KY when I got the call from my cousin Darin. He did his best to tell me what was going on, but quickly broke into tears. Unfortunately, it was now my responsibility to tell my dad the bad news. I was going to be leaving that night, and knew I wouldn't be able to tell my father before he got home what had happened, and I wasn't about to tell him through a phone call. I left to meet my father at the house where he was teaching a small group.

I came in and asked dad to come to the back part of the house where I could tell him and mom what had happened. I had to watch my father crumble and weep tears that I had never experienced before. His love for his father was the same as mine for him. He always told me that he idolized his father, and all he ever wanted to do was make him proud. I knew exactly where he was coming from.

As I remember my dad today, I pray that I will one day be the same friend, father and hero for my son. Could there really be anything better?

More Hours = More Fun!!!

This week, I had put in around 30 hours of work by Tuesday. By the time this week is done, I will be somewhere around 70 hours in the office. I'm not saying this to complain. I'm just amazed that I've loved every bit of it. This Sunday, we are having our celebration service for the 40 Days of Grace campaign that we are just finishing up. Getting ready for Sunday morning has been a lot of fun this week. So many amazing things have happened in so many lives during these eight weeks that we couldn't use every testimony that was offered up in the service this week. We will be spotlighting six different people in our service, and Dave will be sharing the vision for Catalyst as we head into our future. If you plan on being there this week, YOU DO NOT WANT TO MISS THE FIRST THREE MINUTES OF THE SERVICE. I promise that you will not be disappointed. Have a great weekend!

JK <><

What a Day at Catalyst!

Today's topic was "Accepting Grace from God", and, I can honestly say, I've never enjoyed watching the people at Catalyst worship as much as I did today. It's always an honor to lead worship each week regardless of who is there. Leading at Catalyst each week, however, has become something I look more and more forward to each week, and today was no exception. I thank God everyday for the blessing that I have of being the worship minister at Catalyst. I can only stand in awe as I watch this church grow and move.

Get out of the way

The night before I went away to college I can remember a conversation I had with my father. I was about to head to Kentucky Christian College to study and become a youth minister. The months leading up to this moment are where my problems began. My father had taken a ministry in Mt. Vernon, KY, but I stayed with a friend in Bellville, OH to finish out my Sr. year of High School. While my family was 7 hours away, I took advantage of my freedom. I discovered alcohol and number of ways to get in trouble, and I loved it. This is where we get back to the conversation with my father.

I was having trouble sleeping, and I walked down the hall to where my father was watching SportsCenter, and felt it was time to 'fess up. I began to share with my father all of the things that I had gotten involved in while he was away. I felt a great deal of remorse, and finished by saying, "I shouldn't be going into youth ministry. God can't use someone like me." At that moment, I was looking for a fatherly pat on the back and maybe some advice. Instead, I got the death stare.

My father looked me in the eye, and he simply said, "That is the stupidest thing I have ever heard!" I was shocked. This was not the response that I was longing for. He continued, "Who are you to say what God can and can't do? You're blocking God from forgiving you, and, until you can let go, God's forgiveness can't be present in your life." He went on to ask me if I'd, "ever killed a Christian?" I, of course, answered with a no. He then lectured me on how God forgave Paul for all he had done, and that, if God can forgive him, then He can obviously forgive me for drinking beer.

My dad preached hundreds of sermons in my lifetime, but this one has always stuck with me. The only time that we, as humans, can limit God's grace is when we don't accept it. I needed that. I needed to know that however deep I may have gotten in my life, only I could keep God's grace from working in me, and that God wants me to get out of His way so that doesn't happen.

This Sunday, Dave is going to be speaking about that very thing, and I can honestly tell you that this is going to be an amazing week. If you are going to be at Catalyst this week, be prepared to have God shake you up a bit, and be ready to let go. This may be harder than last weeks message of sharing grace with others.

.....and....a quiet moment.

Whew. The last two weeks have been amazing.....and busy. I've been leading worship for High School and Middle School students for the past two weeks, and loving every minute. Finally, though, I've been able to find a moment to just breathe and get a post out.

If you've never experienced a youth worship service at camps, retreats, conventions, etc., you're missing out on one of the greatest encounters with God that someone could have. Teens really love to express themselves in worship, and they've been very expressive the last two weeks. It is so nice to be given perspective through the way teens worship. They have an abandon to them that is refreshing and eye opening. No fear. No worries. Just intense, authentic worship.

I love my job.